When doing research for my data I was intrigued to find many different connections for all aspects of the data. The New York State religion census is categorized in a variety of number classification such as the location, the county of the church within New York State and what denominations the church is affiliated with. The information that is given to the viewers allows them to piece together the lives of the citizens who lived during this time and to get a better sense of what religion theses citizens practiced. In the data shown, 1850-1890, the viewer can see the steady growth of most all of the various religious denominations that were established in New York State. Additionally, using my first bar chart, featuring the different dimensions over time, it can be concluded that the most dominant religion sect establish itself throughout New York State were the Methodist, Baptist and Congregational. Presbyterians however, shown by the data, did not see dramatic increases its church presence throughout New York State. Throw the 1850-70 the number of churches stood about seven hundred every time the data was collected. The data also concluded that the Quaker churches in New York was the only demonion that was a decrease in numbers. By 1870 the data that was collect suggests that there was no Quaker churches with the New York county. Final by 1890 they re-appeared but with only ninety-two churches.
I believe the influxs of churches correlates what was going on in American history, the first and second wave of immigrants and the urbanization of America. The first waves of immigration to the United States happen in 1840-1860. The immigrants that were coming to the land of opportunity were mostly Irish and German. As the second wave approached in 1880-1940, this where the data set stopped in 1890. The immigrants that were arriving to the United States were mostly eastern and southern europeans. During the first wave on average about 2.4 million came to the land of opportunity. For the second wave on average about 5.2 million came to America. This example the sudden increase Judaism at the end during the 1890. Because Judaism is a promett religion is the eastern and southern parts of europe. With America’s rise of immigration, this also lead to Urbanization. A process by which towns and cities are formed and become larger due to the increase people living and working in that areas. Once the immigrants got off the boat many of them had never little money to travel out of the city where the ship ported. In correlation with the immigration increase, leads to Industrial growth. In my map data set of New York over times the number of churches and the variety of religion found in the county of Queens, Kings, New York, Richmond and even Suffolk doubles in size. During this times America developes into working class. Wage labor when prior we were a nation of farms. Going from someone that control your wages and the amount of food you can provide for family. Hugh shift from farming and being independent, to someone (Boss) controlling your wages.
Again, be careful to proofread: you’ve got a mixup between throw/through, typos like promett/prominent and Hugh/huge, and things like “data that was collect” where your verbs don’t agree (see here: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/599/01/ for verb agreement). Your very last three sentences are not complete sentences.
You’ve got very good analysis throughout, but you back away from it in a lot of places–punch your reader in the nose with your arguments! Your data doesn’t argue, you do! Instead of telling your reader that “it can be concluded,” just come out and state it directly–“the largest denominations in New York were Methodist and Baptist/Congregational.” This will make your conclusions clearer and stronger by cutting out unnecessary language like “can be concluded.”
Make sure to cite your sources for information like in your first/second immigration wave section–even when you’re not directly quoting, you still need to cite where you’re getting your information. Urbanization doesn’t need to be capitalized; only the names of people, places and things need to be capitalizedL https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/592/1/
How do you know that the increase in the number of churches has to do with immigration? Are the increases in specifically immigrant-heavy denominations like Judaism or Catholicism? How do you know that the increased number of churches isn’t just related to non-immigration population increase? A comparison with the American Panorama immigration map http://dsl.richmond.edu/panorama/foreignborn/ we looked at a few weeks ago might be helpful (either for the US over all or for specific counties in NY).